feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
