Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
