I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
