Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
