Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
