did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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