R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I need a burrito and a hug.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
