Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
