addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
