He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
