I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
