Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
