she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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