I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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