She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
