Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
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