my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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