found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
