what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
