The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
