I'm drive I can fine osifer
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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