Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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