I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
