the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Sext me about skeletons
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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