i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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