the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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