I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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