is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
