My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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