I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
