So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
