Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
