Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize
