Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
