All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
