Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
