i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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