At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
ttyl tear gas
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
