i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
