id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
