id be glad to
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
