Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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