Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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