I'm laying in your front yard are you home
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
No subtext here. People are naked.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
