Say something about gay babies.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
