..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I hate all girls vehemently.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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