i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
