So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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