i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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