I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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