I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
All I want is dick and wine.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
